Emotionally Rinsed in Depression
by WolfCry17
Summary: Relena recollects her past experiences with that certain Perfect Soldier, and decides it is high time to high tail it out of there. 1XR. One-shot......for now.


Emotionally Rinsed in Depression  
by: WolfCry17  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Gundam Wing characters. The Gundam Wing cast belongs to its original creators in Japan and Bandai. I also don't own the song "Rinsed". That song belongs to Vanessa Carlton.  
  
AN: Hey guys...I wrote this a long time ago and decided to host it on Fanfiction.net. It has been on Aishiteru for a few months, but hey, I thought it couldn't to put it up here. I have decided to write a sequel, but that will be after I finish my other fanfic "Too Lost to be Saved." But, this can stand alone until I start the sequel, so please enjoy!  
  
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The sky was quickly enveloped in a blanket of bitter darkness. What little light that was spared from the overpowering clouds was soon engulfed in small droplets of water that grew into a heavy downfall. The air was miserable with the cries of thunderous light that bolted across the sky to brighten the world below for a glimpse of a second.  
  
The rain quickly washed the large glass panel of Vice Foriegn Minister Relena Darlian's office. She starred blankly upon the busy streets below as cars sped through a temporary river of water. Her unblinking eyes focused blankly out the window as if her soul had escaped her motionless body. However, Relena was very much there, but her thoughts, forbidden thoughts, brought her into a deep abyss of unanswered questions.  
  
A boy she had met four years ago and had not seen in the past two remained plastered in her mind. A boy who had saved her in many ways and stole her heart like a thief in the night. Unlike the rain that cleansed the window of unwanted particles before her, she could not rinse the anti- social, suicidal boy from her mind.  
  
She'd do anything to sparkle in his eyes.  
  
She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise.  
  
She's been wishing on the stars that shine so bright,  
  
For answers to questions that will haunt her tonight  
  
She must rinse this all away.  
  
She can't hold him this way.  
  
'Heero...where are you?' At the mere thought of his name, her knees weakened, and she collapsed clumsily upon the cold, marble floor. Her eyes remained blankly upon the world below. She seemed lifeless and unsure of herself. She was supposed to be one of the strongest people in the world, but all she ever did now was collapse even due to a mere thought, mention, of his name.  
  
Suddenly, the lightening flashed brightly inverting Relena's eyes from the streets to the raging sky. She watched the patterns created by each thunderous roar and streak of light as images of her life unfolded out before her.  
  
She must rinse this, this all away.  
  
She can't love him...this way.  
  
How she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see,  
  
She needs to be held in his arms to be...free.  
  
But everything happens for reasons that she will never understand,  
  
'Til she knows that the heart of a women will never be found...in the arms of a man.  
  
Memories engulfed her out of her confined ofice and into a world she had long been away from. Images so vivid in her mind, she felt as if she were back in those circumstances. Then, an image came to her of the last time she had last seen him. It was on her seventeenth birthday, and instead of a party for a celebration, she was captured along with all of her guests by a bunch of rebels with demands of ransom from the Preventers.  
  
She remembered Heero busting into the building with a fake gundam made only to scare off the rebels. Duo, who was secretly disguised as a betrading rebel, Quatra, Trowa, Wufie, and Sally all came in and surrounded the rebels. Heero jumped down from the fake WIng Zero and helped release all the prisoners. She had expected to be able to talk to him afterwards and thank him, but he had once again disappeared.  
  
She had lost all hope of him ever returning to her after that. How could he just save her and leave without so much as an awknowledgment? She just couldn't understand. What was the true meaning of the bear he had given to her on her sixteenth birthday? She sat up all night as the unanswered questions repeated irritably in her mind. She had locked the bear up along with the letter in a small box and placed it at the back of her spacious closet.  
  
She must rinse this all away.  
  
She can't hold anybody this way.  
  
She must rinse this, this all away.  
  
She can't love him...  
  
Relena fought to bring herself back to the future, and she furrowed her eyes fiercely. She had finally brought herself to the truth two years ago, but always kept around just in case. But why? She had no idea. "Not anymore."  
  
She walked over to her desk coolly forming a plan in her mind to escape from this depressed life. She took out some pieces of paper, a passport, her credit cards, and her purse. She grabbed some scissors and began to cut up every credit card under her name. She then grabbed a wad of cash that would last her enough to get her feet back on the ground. Then she carefully laid out some clean sheets of paper and began to write away her life.  
  
And as she runs away, she fears she won't be followed.  
  
What could be worse than leaving something behind?  
  
And as the depths of oceans slowly become shallow,  
  
Its lonliness she finds...if only he was mine.  
  
She'd do anything to sparkle in his eyes.  
  
She would suffer, she would fight, and compromise.  
  
She's been wishing on the stars that shine so bright,  
  
For answers to questions that will haunt her tonight  
  
As she fought to write each letter of each word, she kept hearing a tiny voice inside her to stay and continue to wait. For a moment, she hesitated. Then, flashes of lonely nights and depressed days came back to her, and her determination grew.  
  
She must rinse him,  
  
She must rinse him.  
  
She can't rinse him,  
  
She can't rinse him.  
  
She can't, she won't, she must rinse him.  
  
She can't, she won't, she must rinse him.  
  
She must rinse this all away,  
  
She can't hold him this way.  
  
She must rinse this all away.  
  
She can't love him...this way.  
  
Relena walked out of her office like she did every evening. She turned off the lights and moniters of the building like she did every evening. But instead of walking home like she did every evening, she turned in the opposite direction and walked into the great unknown as the rain fell upon the earth. Lightening brightened the world below for only a glimpse of a second, and within that glimpse, Relena was gone.  
  
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AN: Well, that was deep. What happened to Relena and where did she go? Who knows? I was aiming this to be a one time fic, but I ended up deciding to continue it someday. But neway, I hope you all liked it. And if anyone has some suggestions or thinks I should not write this sequel, I would love to hear your replies! Thanks so much!  
  
~Wolf Cry17 


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